Is your book's POV all over the place?
Writer Compass Writing craft
Dear Red,
I got some contest feedback saying that my point of view (POV) was all over the place and that I was head hopping, which, apparently, is a no-no. I’m so confused. What does all of this even mean? —Point of View Point of Order
Dear POVPOO,
First off, I’m sorry your sign-off made a weird acronym. Thanks for the giggle, though.
Secondly, you’re not alone. A lot of authors struggle with POV and head hopping. Let me do my best to break it down for you. (Note—this isn’t going to include “deep POV”, which I (Ryley) have as a whole section of an editing how-to.)
So, if you write fiction, you’re probably familiar with “first person POV” and “third person POV”.
An example of a sentence written in first person:
I took my dog to the park.
An example of a sentence written in third person:
Jenny took her dog to the park.
Second person is also a thing but not used as much. It feels more “choose your own adventure-y” and reads as though the author is describing what the reader did. Example:
You took your dog to the park.
Omniscient POV used to be more utilized as well (think: all-knowing author god) but it’s not as common.
Simple, right? Not always. And this isn’t the full story on POV.
Often, our work is in the POV of specific characters (let’s call them Jenny and Frank). A lot of authors, especially those who write romance, alternate chapters in the different protagonists’ POVs so the reader gets both sides of the story. As in, first you’re in Jenny’s head for a chapter, then you’re in Frank’s, then back to Jenny in the next one, etc.
There are plenty of books written in just one character’s POV too—a perfectly valid and enjoyable method—but you mentioned head hopping, so that’s where I’m going with this.
Sometimes an author needs to switch character POVs within a chapter. When it comes out of nowhere, and/or happens in the same paragraph, or something similar, it can be jarring. As a reader, I think, “Hey, we were in Jenny’s POV—how do we suddenly know what Frank is thinking?” This is head hopping and can be confusing to readers, making them take valuable brain power to figure out what’s going on in your story instead of gobbling up the smooth-flowing scenes.
But never fear! Changing the POV within a scene can be done without giving your readers whiplash. One way is to do a simple scene break. This is usually flagged by an asterisk or similar graphic, and signals to the reader that something is changing—maybe a different location or time jump, or a different character’s POV is taking over.
You can also signal this to the reader by doing the “tag, you’re it” method. You’re writing a scene and have the characters touch or physically interact somehow—the “touch” is the baton, and the POV is passed to the other character. Tag, you’re it!
This one can be kind of tough to envision, so here’s an example:
Jenny loved bringing her dog Sprinkles to the dog park. Watching Sprinkles run and play with the other dogs gave Jenny so much joy. One day, Jenny hadn’t even let Sprinkles off her leash before Sprinkles yanked Jenny’s arm and took off to play with her puppy friends. Jenny yelped and let go of the leash, but not before she bumped into a handsome stranger, knocking him over.
In all his years bringing his friendly lab Spike to the dog park, Frank had never been bowled over by a beautiful woman before, literally or figuratively. He helped untangle her from her dog’s leash before offering her a hand and pulling her up to her feet. Her cheeks flushed pink as she adorably stammered an apology and offered to treat him to ice cream.
I hope that clarifies POV a bit for you, POVPOO. Please let us know what you think.
Red ♦️